DEFINE THAT RELATIONSHIP

Wande is a young man in his mid-thirties.
About eight months ago, he moved into a
two bedroom apartment and as he got to
know his neighbours better, he discovered
that one of them, Mariam, was a widow.
Mariam, in her early thirties, had been
married just four years when her husband
died in a motor accident; they had a son.
Wande was moved by her plight and
decided to help her whenever he could.
He began by helping her put on the
generator whenever there was power
outage, then he helped to arrange for an
electrician to help fix some faults in her
apartment and even helped her once or
twice to get fuel during the shortage crisis;
as gratitude for his thoughtfulness, Mariam
often cooked for him. Wande also grew
close to Mariam’s son, Richard; he took
him out a lot, spent hours playing with him
and Richard often spent the better part of
the weekends in Wande’s apartment.
Though he had no ulterior motives for his
actions, it became clear to Wande one
evening that he had to put a stop to his
actions when one of his other neighbours
referred to Mariam as his wife; he soon
learnt that people thought he was having
an affair with Mariam and he decided to
pull back from her but it was easier said
than done. After two days of not seeing
Mariam or picking her calls, Wande realised
that he missed her a lot and soon reverted
to spending time with her and Richard. In
all this, he never really thought of the fact
that they were getting attached to each
other.
Whilst all this was still going on, Wande
met and began dating Kike. He had told
Kike about Mariam earlier in their
relationship but somehow the ladies had
never met each other. At first, Kike had
also felt compassion for Mariam and
supported his lending a hand when
necessary but when she noticed that
Mariam and Richard’s names always
cropped up whenever Wande was telling
her about his day, she grew wary. One day,
Kike asked to meet Mariam and Wande
obliged. After the visit, Kike told Wande
that Mariam was in love with him and
asked him to redefine their friendship.
Wande did not believe Kike and teased her
about her jealousy, but when she insisted
and he sensed her seriousness, he
promised to put a distance between
himself and Mariam and he did.
Some days later, Mariam visited Wande
and accused him of avoiding her; at a
point, she burst into tears as she told him
that she loved and missed him and that he
was a father figure to Richard, Wande had
to fight himself not to take her in his arms
to comfort her. He had to promise to see
her the next day before she left his
apartment. Immediately, he called Kike
and told her all that had happened; after
scolding him for his carelessness with
Mariam’s emotions, she encouraged him to
continue avoiding Mariam. Wande and
Mariam no longer speak to each other; in
fact, she treats him as if he does not exist.
It is now clear to Wande that Mariam was
emotionally attached and he wishes he had
been more careful and considerate of her.
He wanted to help but ended up hurting
her and Richard.
Comments
Friendships are built and they occur on four
different levels .i.e. acquaintance, casual,
close and intimate friendship. An
acquaintance is someone you see once in a
while and with whom you only exchange
greetings; an acquaintance is an “hello-
friend”. A casual friend is someone with
whom you actually hold conversations;
however, the conversations are light-
hearted and do not involve any sharing of
deep issues. Between men and women, it
is advised that the friendship be restricted
to either acquaintance or casual level if
both parties are not romantically involved
with each other; this is simply to protect
them from hurting each other. A close
friend is someone with whom you share
your thoughts, fears, hopes for the future,
etc; a close friend bonds with you over
time and has access to your heart. It is
therefore unwise and dangerous to have
close friendship with a member of the
opposite sex if he/she is not your spouse
or someone you intend to marry. This was
the mistake Wande and Mariam made
Women are emotional beings. When a
woman meets a man who listens, takes
care of her needs, spends quality time with
her and just generally shows that he cares,
she opens up and bonds emotionally with
him; this is what Mariam experienced with
Wande. He was more than a neighbour to
her; he was a man who cared for her as a
woman, someone she had grown to trust
and even love. He had become her close,
almost intimate, friend and to whom much
is given, much is expected.
Boundaries are important in relationships;
they help to guard against heartbreak,
betrayal and pain. The level of friendship
desired determines the kind of boundaries
that will be built. If all you want is casual
friendship, don’t spend much time or
exchange confidence with the other person
and don’t encourage him/her to do so with
you either. Helping Mariam was a good
idea but Wande should never have allowed
her to share her fears, hopes and pain with
him; it was not right for him to grow close
to her. She was vulnerable and he took
advantage of that, though unintentionally.
If they had established boundaries for their
friendship, the story would have been
different.
As we go through life, we will meet
different people. Some will remain in our
lives forever while some will leave after a
short while but irrespective of long we are
a part of each others lives, we must be
careful to be good and kind to each other.
Purpose never to leave another person
wishing they had never met you and one of
the first steps towards achieving this is
having boundaries for all your
relationships. Do not share with an
acquaintance, casual friend, colleague,
secretary, driver, that which is meant for
your spouse or fiancé.
If like Wande, you have hurt someone
unintentionally, please ask God for
forgiveness and seek how you can make
amends (without getting yourself in the
same predicament again). Never
underestimate the power of repentance
and offering an apology; ask God to show
you how you can make amends.
If like Mariam, you are the injured party,
you need to forgive and let God heal your
broken heart. You also need to learn to
handle your emotions better; make
decisions based on information and not
what you feel or think. Is someone
spending a lot of time with you? Ask him/
her to define what they want, do not
assume anything!!!

LET'S TALK ABOUT RAPE

RAPE: WHAT IS RAPE?
Rape is an act of FORCING or LURING someone into sexual intercourse without the consent or consciousness of the victim...
SOME RESULTANT EFFECT OF RAPE
1. Shock, Disbelief and denial
2. Vaginal tears, bleeding and pains
3. Abnormal sexual urges( E.g masochism)
4. Self-blame and guilt
5. Hatrad for sex in marriage
6. Worry,anxiety and hypertension
7. Persistent fear
8 Restlessness and nightmares
9.Bitterness and hatred for people of opposite sex
10. Unwanted Pregnancy
11. Unforgiving Spirit and revenge
12 Suicide
13 Psychosis or Psychosomatic problem

WRONG REACTIONS TO RAPE
1. Negligence and Complacent Attitudes
2.Passing Blame on the victim
3.Legal pursuit without the consent of the victim
4. Making Negative Recount of the Past experience
SOME CAUSES AND PREVENTION OF. RAPE
1. Provocative Dressings
2. Questionable Visitation to opposite sex
3. HitchHiking (Free ride)
4. Bad friends/relationship
5. Night Party
6. Walkin or staying alone in a dangerous and delicate zone
7. Robbery Attacks
8. Unnecessary arrogance, abuse, unruly attitude towards opposite sex 9. Indecent body contact with opposite sex
10 Putting sleeping or seductive drugs in drinks or food
11. Love for money, wealth and clothing
12 Seeking help from ungodly counselors
13 Pornography,junk music and misleading books
14 Hypnotism and Charming
15 Demonic attack

IF RAPE OCCURS, WHAT MUST BE DONE?
1. Go to the Hospital within 24 hours
2. Go for an intensive Counselling with a trustworthy Counselor
3. Withdraw from Bad company
4. Destroy anything that reminds you of the past
5. Forgive your Offender (s)....I know this is difficult, but it is one of the major keys to your freedom

PERMIT ME TO INTRODUCE GOD

Hello beloved, Please Permit me to introduce God,
1) Genesis, He is Your Creator
2) Exodus, He is Your Redeemer
3) Leviticus, He is your Sanctification
4) Numbers, He is your Guide
5) Deuteronomy, He is your Teacher
6) Joshua, He is Your Mighty Conqueror
7) Judges, He gives You Victory over Your Enemies
Ruth, He is Your Kinsman, Your Lover, Your Redeemer
9) 1st Samuel, He is the Root of Jesse
10) 2nd Samuel, He is the Father of David
11) 1st Kings, He is King of Kings
12) 2nd Kings, He is the Lord of Lords
13) 1st Chronicles, He is Your Intercessor
14) 2nd Chronicles, He is Your High Priest
15) Ezra, He is Your Temple, Your House of Worship
16) Nehemiah, He is Your Mighty Wall, Protecting You from Your Enemies
17) Esther, He Stands in the Gap to Deliver You from Your Enemies
18) Job, He is the Arbitrator who not only Understands Your Struggles, but has the Power to do something about them
19)Psalms, He is your Song and Your Reason to Sing
20) Proverbs, He is Your Wisdom, Helping You make Sense in Life and Live it Successfully
21) Ecclesiastes, He is Your Purpose, Delivering You from Vanity.
22) Song of Solomon, He is Your Lover, Your Rose of Sharon.
23) Isaiah, He is Your Mighty Counselor, the Prince of Peace, the Everlasting Father, and More. He's Everything You Need
24) Jeremiah, He is Your Balm of Gilead, the Soothing Salve for Your Sin-Sick Soul
25) Lamentations, He is the Ever-Faithful One upon whom You can Depend
26) Ezekiel, He is Your Wheel in the Middle of a Wheel the One who Assures that the Dry and Dead Bones will come Alive Again
27) Daniel, He is the Ancient of Days, the Ever- Lasting God who never Runs out of Time
28) Hosea, He is Your Faithful Lover, always Beckoning You to come back Even when You have Abandoned Him
29) Joel, He is Your Refuge, Keeping You Saft in Times of Trouble
30) Amos, He is the Husbandman, the One You can Depend on to Stay by Your Side
31) Obadiah, He is Lord of the Kingdom
32) Jonah, He is Your Salvation, bringing You back within His will
33) Micah, He is Judge of the Nation
34) Nahum, He is A Jealous God.
35 Habakkuk, He is the Holy One
36) Zephaniah, He is the Witness
37) Haggai, He Overthrows the Enemies
38) Zechariah, He is Lord of Hosts In 39.Malachi, He is God of Abundance) ,
AND in the new Covenant, which is a better covenant
In Matthew he is the King of the Jews, in Mark He is the Miraculous God, In Luke He is the God of the Gentiles, In John He is The Word, and God Shepherd, In Acts of the Apostle He is the God of Power, in Romans He is the God of Salvation, in I Corinthians He is Love, in 2 Corinthians He is our Comforter, In Galatians He is our Liberty, in Ephesians He is the God that can do more than we can ask or Imagine, in Philippians He is the God that supplies all our needs, in Colossians He is Supreme God, in I thessalonians He is the Soon coming King, in 2 Thessalonians He is the God of Prayer and Praise, in 1 Timothy He is the God of Ministry in 2 Timothy He is our empowerment, in Titus he is the God of Exploits, In Philemon he is our Solicitor, In Hebrew He is Our High Priest and advocate, In 1 Peter He is Our Hope, in 2 Peter he is our Grace, in I John He is the Tangible God, in 2 John he is Our friend, in 3 John God he is the God of Prosperity, in Jude He is the God Of THE FAITH, in Revelations, He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End!!! GIVE HIM PRAISE! I HAVE A BETTER COVENANT!

A LOVE STORY

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in
love.
But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.
So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents
as well. In time, the parents saw that
he was a good man and was worthy of
their daughter’s hand.

But there was another
problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year.

The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will
you marry me?” She
wiped a tear, said yes, and they were
engaged. They agreed that when he got back
in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left,
the girl had a major vehicular accident. It
was a head-on collision.
When she woke up in the hospital, she saw
her father and mother
crying.
Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.
She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged.
Her once lovely face was now disfigured.
She cried as she saw herself in the mirror.
“Yesterday, I was beautiful.
Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so
many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release
her fiancé from their
promise.
She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never
see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters— but she wouldn’t answer.
He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into
her room and announced,
“He’s back from the war.”
The girl shouted, “No!
Please don’t tell him
about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”
The mother said, “He’s
getting married,” and
handed her a wedding invitation.
The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget
him now. With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation. And then she saw her name
on it!
Confused, she asked, “What is this?” That was when the young man entered her
room with a bouquet of flowers.
He knelt beside her and asked, “Will
you marry me?” The girl covered her face with her hands and
said, “I’m ugly!”
The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has
changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”

Interesting You may say, this goes to show us the love Jesus has for everyone of us. Despite all we did, he still cared and died for us all.
Word from Jesus to you today is "I died that you may live and enjoy Gods full benefit. I want the best for you, I want you to have
a glorious end, let me take your poverty so that you can have my riches, allow me to come and dwell in
your life today so this will become true."

Don't just read please say this short prayer with me.
'O Lord my father, I come to you today, accepting my errors and knowing that
whoever will come to you, you will not cast out, save
me from my dirty act and make me a better person in Jesus name'

proudly and willingly Shout a big Amen. God bless you Twitter @anthonyojakovo BB 22054C10